|Occupation:||Producer at Ferret TV|
|Current Location:||Garcia Apartment|
|Known Relatives:||Unnamed Mother|
|First Appearance:||May 21, 2001|
Fungo Squiggly is the Garcia's pet Ferret whom Bucky intensely hates, and is Bucky's true nemesis. He is very rough and borderline thuggish, often turning Bucky's plans to ignominious defeats. His hobby is allegedly chewing metal. The two frequently engage in fights which leave Satchel, Fungo's friend, in the middle. Fungo also smokes, a habit which angers Bucky and annoys Rob. He works at "Ferret TV", a channel specifically for ferrets, and the source of one conflict was Fungo's repeatedly finding ways to sneak hidden closed-circuit cameras into Rob's apartment. In response to a comment by Bucky that ferrets are spongers, Satchel says that Fungo has a high work ethic, noting that he grows organic radishes and teaches English as a fifth language in his spare time. Bucky is unimpressed, saying “He’s a weasel, Satchel. He doesn’t have a sitting-on-his-can ethic, let alone a work ethic.”
When a new family moved into the apartment next door to Rob, they introduced Fungo as their pet. The amiable Satchel made friends with the newcomer easily, but Bucky immediately regarded Fungo as a mortal enemy. No explanation is ever given for Bucky's intense hatred for Fungo, save that Fungo did seem a bit aggressive in their first meeting, Although he whispers in Satchel's ear on occasion, Fungo does not usually speak audibly outside of his home, generally communicating by writing on a pad of paper. Rob describes his handwriting as incredible, saying that he thinks Fungo was using a fountain pen. Satchel confirms this, saying if it is Saturday Fungo is probably using his Tibaldi Da Vinci, adding that on Mondays he uses a Conway Stewart presented to his great great great great great great grandfather by Winston Churchill.
Bucky's attempts to kill and/or humiliate Fungo almost invariably backfire, and often badly. For example, Bucky once tried to trap Fungo in a crude snare trap. Fungo yanked on the rope, causing Bucky to smack into a wall, losing two teeth: his trademark cuspid and lower right posterior molar. Bucky attempted to sue Fungo and took him to the TV show "Judge Judy", where he inevitably lost. To add insult to injury, Fungo was seen wearing the smaller tooth on a necklace. When Bucky saw that, he charged at Fungo, only to be tackled by Satchel and have his fang break off yet again. Fungo likely still wears the small tooth around his neck to this day. Other plots have had similar outcomes, such as Fungo's kidnapping of Bucky's beloved toy Smacky (twice). Another instance was when Bucky destroyed a large portion of a wall in an attempt to get Fungo once and for all. However, all that Bucky got was a small chunk of plaster to the head, thrown by Fungo. One memorably misguided attempt involved Bucky throwing a baseball at the ferret he took to be Fungo; the ball struck Fungo's mother and knocked her down a garbage chute. Furious, Fungo challenged Bucky to a duel. The two were to have a pie fight afterwards, though Rob broke it up as Fungo had filled his pie with tools. Another involved Bucky challenging Fungo to a duel using a Ms. Pretty prom glove, only to have the duel broken up by Chubby Huggs. Many of Fungo's aggressions toward Bucky are simply reactions to the cat's attempted assaults, as Fungo does not seem to go looking for trouble.